March 31: Emotional Baggage

For I am full of words;
   the spirit within me constrains me. 
My heart is indeed like wine that has no vent;
   like new wineskins, it is ready to burst. 
I must speak, so that I may find relief;
   I must open my lips and answer.   Job 32:18-20

In Job’s words, I hear the thoughts and expressions of the myriad of people I meet who are unable to reconcile.  From my desk chair, there seems to be an epidemic of people who refuse to reconcile, and it is disastrous.  Not only for the community, but for the individuals.

When we  insist on holding onto our anger and resentment,  we become blind to any point of view other than our own.  We tend to repeat the litany of our suffering from the hands of others (either in our heads or to anyone who will listen), and the ongoing litany only serves to deepen the well of poison within us.  The litany resolves nothing.  Instead, it strengthens and thickens the wall we have put up between ourselves (as victim) and the other (as villain).  Eventually, the wall appears to be impassable.  Inevitably, one side or the other chooses to “pack it up”----no reparation in sight.

Yes, when we allow our dark and ugly emotions to be exposed to light (by listening to the other party; through calm and open dialogue; with prayer and counsel) we become vulnerable.  But this is what our discipleship is all about.  “Being church” isn’t simply worship.  It isn’t relegated solely to serving those “in need.”  It’s about living differently.  It’s about doing the hard work of forgiveness.  It’s about understanding another person’s point of view---even if it will never become our own point of view.

Discipleship does not allow us to dismiss one another.  It is not about holding one another hostage with resentment and hostility.  It’s about the grace and sacrifical love of Jesus.  

If you are carrying emotional baggage and you are ready to burst, the hard work of reconciliation is long overdue.  There is no easy way, but there is the Way.  Seek reconciliation.

March 16: Amazing Love

This weekend I witnessed about 20 teens, along with some adults,  build an incredible community.  How is that possible in just two days?  The Holy Spirit.  Jesus.  God.

I saw these teens---so often dismissed by popular culture as the “self-centered” generation---give of their hearts.  I saw them take each other under their wings.  Even those who are often cast to the edges.  

I saw adults give their time and energy to make sure these teens  know that they are beloved, they are valuable, they are important.

I witnessed sacrificial, compassionate love---all in the name of Jesus.

This weekend I tasted Heaven----God’s holy presence.  God was revealed through the giving, loving and serving of these beautiful disciples.  A community of humans inspirited with the Divine.  

And I am changed.  I am changed because I know Jesus lives.  He lives in this community, and I am so blessed to have been a part of this weekend.  My prayer today?  That I don’t forget this.....that the change is imprinted on my heart.....that I pass it forward.

March 10: What a day!

So yesterday, the first Sunday in Lent, was quite a wonderful day for me.

I started the day with Morning Prayer---some time just with me and God.  Always a good way to start the day I find (especially while sharing a fragrant cup of coffee!)

Then I went to church to celebrate the 8 am service---a lovely, intimate service in the Chapel.  Since we are in the season of Lent, we started with the Penitential Order, and we are doing Rite I at this early service.  I started the day with “thees, thous, and thys”---a few tongue twisters and a break away from the known---although still familiar.  Especially wonderful is the Prayer of Humble Access (well, at least, I find it wonderful).  It’s hard to exlain what it does for my heart and soul to speak aloud with others: We do not presume to come to this thy Table, O merciful Lord, trusting in our own righteousness, but in thy manifold and great mercies.

Consider that statement for a moment.......trusting in thy manifold and great mercies....Now, that’s something, isn’t it?  To truly live trusting in God’s great mercies.

At 10 am, we started with the Penitential Order, but with Rite II this time.  Kids, and music, and lots of faces of loved ones gathered in one beautiful, prayer-soaked space.  And then ending with these words: God of abundance, you have fed us with the bread of life and cup of salvation; you have united us with Christ and one another.  What a blessing it is to be reminded of the grace we experience every time we gather to share the Lord’s Supper.  

In the evening, I helped lead the Youth Group in a reflective evening of prayer---watching young and old alike move through stations while music played quietly and candles flickered. And then, we ended the night with music that had us clapping and jumping and pumping our fists.

Lastly, at our Evening Worship service---another intimate gathering---we were surrounded by icons and images of God, candles giving off soft light, and beautiful Taize music played by two talented people in the parish.  We sang; we prayed; we practiced Holy Silence; we contemplated and discussed the Word; we shared God’s Peace and Christ himself with one another.  Simply beautiful.

As I reflect on my day, I realize the many wonderfully diverse ways this parish family reveres and worships God.  I know I am probably strange because I love and am enriched by every single way, but I am also so grateful that this parish family allows all these avenues for God’s people to draw near to God.

Blessed beyond all knowing....that’s what I say at the end of this glorious Sunday....blessed beyond all knowing.

March 6: Remember that you are dust!

“Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.”

Ash Wednesday is not about making us feel like a worm; it is NOT about proclaiming that we are the lowest of the low (sorry, Luther).

Ash Wednesday starts a pilgrimage---our yearly pilgrimage, and we begin with remembering who we are.

Chapter 2 of Genesis tells us that we are adamah---dust, soil---adamah that becomes adam (Adam….in Hebrew meaning man or human).  We become human because God takes us in God’s hand and blows the breath of God into the adamah---giving us life and soul and being.

Ash Wednesday begins our Lenten journey; this journey that we as pilgrims---seekers who seek the Holy---walk each year in order to re-align ourselves with our True North---the Human who came to show us how to be human---Jesus.

We begin with the words “remember that you are dust” because in this world that tries to convince us that we are in control, Ash Wednesday reminds us that God is in control.  That God is the Creator---our Creator.  That all that we are, all that we have, the very fact that we exist---is all thanks be to God.

Ash Wednesday provides a ritual, and readings, and symbols to put us in our place---we are the Created, not the Creator.  We belong to God, not to our selves.  We are the adamah into which God blows the breath of life.  Creatures who are not made to be self-centered, but to be God-centered.

Adamah-----transformed into adam---pilgriming our way through this life, empowered by the Holy Spirit and joined by Jesus Christ through fellow pilgrims---in order that in Christ we might become the righteousness of God.  This is our promise.  This is our pilgrimage.  Let the journey begin.

And as pilgrims we recognize, that in order to arrive at the destination, we must know where we begin and be intentional in the seeking, the journeying, the moving closer and closer to God who invites us.