March 31: Emotional Baggage

For I am full of words;
   the spirit within me constrains me. 
My heart is indeed like wine that has no vent;
   like new wineskins, it is ready to burst. 
I must speak, so that I may find relief;
   I must open my lips and answer.   Job 32:18-20

In Job’s words, I hear the thoughts and expressions of the myriad of people I meet who are unable to reconcile.  From my desk chair, there seems to be an epidemic of people who refuse to reconcile, and it is disastrous.  Not only for the community, but for the individuals.

When we  insist on holding onto our anger and resentment,  we become blind to any point of view other than our own.  We tend to repeat the litany of our suffering from the hands of others (either in our heads or to anyone who will listen), and the ongoing litany only serves to deepen the well of poison within us.  The litany resolves nothing.  Instead, it strengthens and thickens the wall we have put up between ourselves (as victim) and the other (as villain).  Eventually, the wall appears to be impassable.  Inevitably, one side or the other chooses to “pack it up”----no reparation in sight.

Yes, when we allow our dark and ugly emotions to be exposed to light (by listening to the other party; through calm and open dialogue; with prayer and counsel) we become vulnerable.  But this is what our discipleship is all about.  “Being church” isn’t simply worship.  It isn’t relegated solely to serving those “in need.”  It’s about living differently.  It’s about doing the hard work of forgiveness.  It’s about understanding another person’s point of view---even if it will never become our own point of view.

Discipleship does not allow us to dismiss one another.  It is not about holding one another hostage with resentment and hostility.  It’s about the grace and sacrifical love of Jesus.  

If you are carrying emotional baggage and you are ready to burst, the hard work of reconciliation is long overdue.  There is no easy way, but there is the Way.  Seek reconciliation.